Adam Carolla Prank Calls a Health Food Store – Crank Yankers


(telephone ringing) Thank you for calling
(beep) health food. – I’ve got a wife that’s
(stammers) heavyset, I guess would be the nice
polite way to call it. (upbeat music) Yeah, what’s the best
for uh weight control? – For weight control? You know, that is
a good question. – I told her like if
peanut butters good, if you want to give
your cat an antibiotic or rub on your areolas,
but it’s not good ingest. – Right. I mean not in super
large quantities. No, ’cause it is a
super high fat content. – You guys got, you
got almond milk? – Yes. We also have hemp milk. – Oh hemp. Well, I don’t
wanna catch a high. – [Clerk] No, no, no, no. – I ain’t Rastafarian. – Yeah, so hemp is kind of like the cousin to marijuana
and you don’t get any kind of psychoactive
effects from hemp. – When I was in
Nam, one brother, he smoked the weed from
the end of a shotgun. – (laughs) That’s creative. – Oh they’ve seen bongs
made out of human skulls, so I don’t wanna go relive that. – Yeah, understandable. – You show me a CBD bottle,
I hear helicopter blades. – But you can not
get high from hemp, I promise you, it’s proven
and backed by science. – All right, ’cause
I don’t wanna be kicking the hacky sack and chasing that
dragon all afternoon. (employee laughs) – You guys do golden beets? – We don’t have golden beets. I know we have some
beetroot powder. – Yeah, I made a
beet powder smoothie, and about 10 hours
later I was on the pot doing my business, looked down, Looked like Rosemary’s
Baby in that toilet. Now that’s happened to
the best of us, right? – Yeah. – Right. So here’s my little invention, and this could
make you a real hit at the Whole Foods store. It’s a bircham beet bracelet. Give them a little, you
know like the Livestrong, Lance Armstrong bracelet? This is just a purple bracelet, you’re sitting on the commode, you look down at
your handy work, you think you’ve had
a prolapsed anus, and all of a sudden you look
at your bracelet and you go, “Oh, that’s right, I had
beets 9 to 11 hours ago.” Sweet idea! – That is, actually. – All right, let me explain
my garlic poncho to you. – Sir, I do have to
go unless you had any other questions
about stuff here, my coworker really could
use some help right now. – All right, here me out,
my pinto bean broach. – Oh my god. (crew laughing) – [Crew Member] “My
pinto bean brooch.” – [Man] That’s good.

14 thoughts on “Adam Carolla Prank Calls a Health Food Store – Crank Yankers

  1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ

  2. Fake. Health food store reps donโ€™t have the time for long ridiculous conversations. She wouldโ€™ve tried to cut it shorter a lot sooner.

  3. Heโ€™s been telling this joke about beet bracelets for well over 6 years now. Perhaps Adam needs a bracelet so he remembers that he just told this joke.

  4. This guy… long passed time to pack it up. Adam, buddy, any laughter you may hear is either pity laughter or just simply at your expense. You haven't been relevant in years. Go cry some more about cancel culture.

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