How to end stress, unhappiness and anxiety to live in a beautiful state | Preetha ji | TEDxKC


Translator: Venki R
Reviewer: Queenie Lee Namaste. Let me share a fable with you, for stories are ways
of immortalizing messages. Two monks, Yesmi and Nomi,
are returning back to the monastery after a day of teaching
in the nearby village. They are just about to cross the river
when they hear a woman crying. Yesmi walks up to her
and asks her what was troubling her? She needed to get back to her toddler who is living in the village
across the river. Since the river has risen that day, she is feeling miserable that she will
not be able to go back to her toddler, and her child would cry for her all night. On hearing her,
Yesmi volunteers to help her. He carries her across the river
and drops her on the other side. And they continue with their walk. About half an hour into the walk,
Nomi, in a very agitated tone, speaks up, he says, “Yesmi, do you know
what you have done?” Yesmi calmly looks at him. A master said, “Never look at a woman, you spoke to her.” A master said, “Never speak to a woman, you touched her.” A master said, “Never touch a woman, you carried her.” Yesmi calmly looks at Nomi
and says, “Yes, that is true, but I have dropped her half an hour ago. It is you who still carries her.” Let me take you away
from the story for a bit, for a tiny experience of meditation. Please close your eyes. (Music starts:
OWA Instrumental – by Enzo Buono) I still see a few sneaking a peek. It is safe to close your eyes. Inhale and exhale, deep and slow. With every exhale raise the edges of your lips
into a gentle smile. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Broaden your smile. Open your eyes. Do you recognize that with a little attention
to your breath and a smile on your face you are more calm and more present. The power to peace is always within you. (Music ends) Let us get back to our story. Yesmi and Nomi
represent two states of being. Fundamentally, every one of us
lives only in two states. One is a stressful state;
the other is a no-stress state. We call this no-stress state
a beautiful state. For that is how life feels
when you live free of stress. Generally, stress refers to tension, but anger, fear, hurt,
loneliness, frustration are all stressful states, aren’t they? Beautiful state is a state
of connection, joy, love, compassion, vitality, and passion. If you are not in a beautiful state, your default state is stress. If you look at the entirety of human life, behind war or peace, cooperation or corrosive politics, love or separation,
persistence or failure, finally happy children
or a generation that is troubled. Behind all this is the driving force
of these two states. Behind every choice and every action is the driving force
of only one of these two states. So the most important choice is: from which state
do we want to live our life, from which state do we
want to relate to the people in our life, from which state do we want to achieve
and fulfill every vision of our life? Sadly, our education,
the entire system of our society, our parents, our religion do not bring
sufficient attention to our inner state. In fact, the very structure of education
at school makes us compete, makes us feel jealous
of another’s progress, makes us feel ashamed of being less. It is a total compromise
on the essence of being human. Let us get back to our story again. Yesmi represents the beautiful state,
and Nomi represents the stressful state. Nomi has created a problem in his mind and is paralyzed with it; Yesmi solves the problem
of a fellow human being and continues with his peaceful walk. Nomi is agitated before the event,
during the event, and after the event. And his thinking becomes
incredibly stupid and complicated because of his inner agitation. Yesmi, while in action, is fully present, and once the action is complete, his departure from
the situation, too, is total. In a beautiful state, there is no compulsive illumination
of the past or anxiety over the future. It is a state where you
experience inner simplicity and a brilliance of an uncluttered mind. It is a state where you
are connected to the present. Nomi is lost. In a stressful state, you are lost; you are disconnected from the others. You might be amidst people,
but yet feel lonely. Yesmi is different.
He is connected to the lady’s plight. He helps her. He understands Nomi’s distress and tries to help him out
with a wise remark. In a beautiful state,
you are powerful enough to help yourself
and help others around you. You are outright intelligent, and your actions
are decisive and powerful. Let us observe Nomi a little longer. Anger and confusion have mounted
over his ideas of duty and virtue. In my observation, when a stressful state mounts
over your ideas, however lofty they are, whether they are of patriotism,
unconditional love, duty, or honesty, we become insensitive and indifferent. We hurt the very cause we served,
and we hurt the very people we love. Yesmi helped, not because he would
be barred entry into heaven, definitely not. Nor did he help because he would
feel guilty if he hadn’t helped. He helped because he was able
to feel the lady’s pain. He was able to feel her suffering. Actions in a beautiful state
arise from a place of connection, not from an ideal. There have been times
when you have been Yesmi, there have been times
when you have been Nomi. We have lived under stress
and disconnection and caused greater confusion
in our own lives and lives of people around us. We have lived in a beautiful
state of connection and contributed to the well being
of ourselves and people around us. War, division, and conflict
of every form can only end when more and more of us
live in a beautiful state. So the big question is, how do we break free of our habitual
negative bias of our brain toward stressful state? If pressure is going to be a part of life, how do we live life
without being bogged down by stress? How do we address numerous
challenges of our life living in a beautiful state? There are three well-trodden paths
people usually take. One. We live in stressful states
and plummet into hurting inner states. Two. We try to escape stress. We try to achieve
a temporary dopamine high. However, when the dopamine plateaus, we are left feeling
emotionally dry and empty. Three. We try replacing inconvenient
beliefs, stories, and ideas into more convenient ones. The problem, however, is
none of these three paths has the power to get you off the gravitational pull
of suffering or long-term stress. And we succumb back into the vortex
of habitual stressful emotions. We need a greater inner power
to get us to a beautiful state. And that is the way of inner truth. About eight years ago,
we as a family met with an accident while at Big Bear Lake in California. We emerged safely from the accident. But while in the waters, Krishnaji, my husband,
co-founder of One World Academy, realized the root cause
of all human suffering. He saw what kept suffering alive
for days, months, and years after a stressful event
was over in anyone’s life. Past and present circumstances,
other people and their behavior can trigger stress in us. But they do not keep us chained
in our unhappiness. While in the waters, he saw the true reason
for humanity’s suffering. He saw all emotional suffering arising
from obsessive self-centric thinking. It is a total preoccupation with oneself. It is a total incessant
preoccupation with oneself. And it is this preoccupation
that separates you from the other. It is this preoccupation that is responsible for war, conflict, and division of every kind
that we see in the world today. This truth can be inconvenient for us, but if we can observe
our emotional suffering in the light of this insight, then this truth can liberate us, this truth can set us free. In suffering, in unhappiness,
in stressful states you are preoccupied with yourself. We are preoccupied
with injustice done to us; we are preoccupied
with pleasure that was denied us; we are preoccupied with opportunities
that did not come our way; we are preoccupied with love
that was withheld from us. It is a total preoccupation with oneself. And in this state, we are not concerned with finding
solutions to the problem at hand. For the entire thinking
is only me, me, me, and me. That’s all we think in unhappiness. Let us observe Nomi
in the light of this insight. Throughout the story, he is preoccupied. He is preoccupied with his rightness, he is preoccupied with his guilt
of having allowed a wrong to happen. He is not concerned about the situation, nor is he concerned about
the lady and her son, nor his friend. He is constantly justifying within himself that he was right
in ignoring the suffering woman, and that he was great
by following the rules. Realizing that all lingering and suffering
is a total preoccupation with oneself, that it’s an obsessive
self-centric thinking, is the most powerful antidote for any form of suffering
that could have gripped you. When you see it – not only you walk out of stressful states, but there is a great release of energy, and you awaken to a sense of power, connection, freedom, and purpose. We know the way now. Let’s do it. It works. (Music starts: What the stars
have to say – by Stephen Devassy) Let us do a small
three-question meditation. Please close your eyes. Please remember,
meditation is not about a religion, it is about being human. It is about returning
to a beautiful state. Bring attention to your breath, inhale and exhale, deep and slow. Observe yourself. Are you in a stressful state, or are you in a beautiful state? Observe yourself. Are you engaged with your past, or are you engaged with your future, or are you in the present? Observe yourself. Are you preoccupied with yourself, or are you in a state of connection? Just observe. Do not try to change anything. Imagine a flame glowing
in the middle of your forehead. Bring a gentle smile to your face, open your eyes, look into the eyes of the person
sitting next to you, (Music ends) wish from the bottom of your heart that the other person
lives in a beautiful state, and if you are comfortable,
you may hug the other. (Laughter) Thank you so much. Namaste. (Applause) (Cheers)

100 thoughts on “How to end stress, unhappiness and anxiety to live in a beautiful state | Preetha ji | TEDxKC

  1. This really spoke to me: @ 9:05 "Actions (in a beautiful state) arise from connection, not from an ideal." If you can think upon this deeply and apply it, it rings so true.

  2. meditation is a beautiful state. . mental illness, trauma, and other disorders need more than expensive meditation retreats.

  3. I read the title of this video and thought it was going to be about how to successfully commit suicide. Now I must look elsewhere

  4. TED used to be good. Now they are full of touchy feely pseudo religious feel good tripe. Mostly delivered by vain 40 something women who lives, I have no doubt, are a disaster .

  5. I've been battling anxiety and panic disorder for over 2 years now. I get her message. To me, it's not that self centrism that made me sick, but that self centrism kept me sick. Really opened my eyes. Thank you so much.

  6. I think that is a journey that each of us has to go through, the searching for happiness, what makes us happy for each of us. I think once you are happy there's no more stress and anxiety, well, happiness is what makes us get out of bed every day.

  7. Absolutely brilliant talk. Loved the way a seemingly simple anecdote was carried forward to drive home the point. 🙏🙏👍👍👋👋

  8. One of the better Ted Talks I’ve listened to. She gives the answers at the end. Quit being pre occupied w self. Me, me, me!! It’s way easier said than done. But def can be done. ❤️

  9. Get out of stress as soon as possible or else you will lose the joy of life.
    I weakened my immune system after being in deperression with health anxiety (Hypochondriasis)
    For over 5 years. I am now 21 and struggling with Bacterial attacks with panic attacks and all. Stress and Anxiety can cause both physical and mental health a lot of issues.
    I am working on my stress level doing meditation and exercise n i will be fine hopefully. Love for you all who ever suffered with high level of stress and anxiety.
    God bless us all.

  10. shes not wrong, because we are all constantly focused on what makes us different from the rest of the world. because we are taught that our differences are how we learn what makes us valuable. (comparison to our peer)

    everything we believe ourselves derives down to two simple concepts: “i am not enough” or “i am enough”-
    which IS preoccupied self obsessive thinking. think about it. all your self limiting beliefs derive to “i am not enough”.

    we really are capable of anything, if we can stop thinking about how it is only us that has to be in the circumstances we are facing- the reality is, we all are one in the same because our different paths (life circumstances) lead us to the same conclusions (emotional states of being).

  11. Great speech and she is also gifted with a beautiful and powerful voice. Her voice is full of emotion and passion. the audience are hooked and so am I. 😊

  12. Learn to let go, stop trying to control situations or people… it’s how you get rid of stress and unhappiness.

  13. Do you realise that you are using coercion on individual ppl? Brainwashing , n mind controlling ? Why?!!!!

  14. We suffer because we are preocupied with ourselves – so what else am I suposed to be preocupied with? Whenever I become preocupied with someone else's problems I get even more stressed out because I start to worry about their situation

  15. I am 56 years of age. I was wondering if you could adopt me. What a wonderful life mother you are. xx

  16. This easy and fast: If you would like more help with your spirit perform this for 20 minutes when you are feeling bad. Take four Zantac tablets and put two pinched on the bridge of your nose on each side of it and then also at the same time press the other two Zantac tablets on your face 1 to 2 inches below your eyes. This relieves stress and many spiritual issues with your body. Extra: You can also hold a tablet in-between your lips if the first part this healing did not do enough. Jesus and God bless you.

  17. Anybody want to be a perfect person than must listen to osho. These arrogant American kicked osho…and now all copycat of him are being respected world over. Because he was really a enlightened one. All other motivational speaker and religious gurus are just copying his word….what a pity… nobody listen to real one.

  18. I weaken my immune system fighting my depression and anxeity and anger from my childhood past mother and father secrets physically abuse my gaurdian and domestic violence as a victim just people doing you wrong im coping with it better but still need help with different ways that will work..she is good great speech

  19. Thanks a lot mam, this is and will be really helpful for me, i do admire the stuff in this video. I will let others know about this video.

  20. I love this video hands down…my question is how do you program your mind to be positive or lift your self or raise the energy if you are getting hit with Psychotronic weapons or REMOTE NEURAL MONITORING 24/7 attacking your thought and your brains

    I want to be a normal person so that I can lift and think and be free of these weapons just like everyone else but how do you become free from these kind of weapons ….Can someone help? Does anyone have an answer? Can you google Remote Neural Monitoring or Psychotronic Weapons and see if you can help Millions of people that are getting targeted every day 24/7 that have NO HELP….Can you explain how can I become free of pain and/or I don't have to get up every morning to these pain and suffering all day long…..I wait for your reply………

    1

    Iris Snow

  21. For the first time meditation worked for me….. I'm in a bad state right now and this just confirmed that I'm depressed. But I'm hopeful that I'll be alright

  22. Well spoken but I don't fully agree.
    My issue is that I have a very high sense of responsibility, especially towards others, which has given me General Anxiety Disorder. I worry abuot everything now because I'm afraid I'll let down my parents, society or any authority figure. That I won't rrach expectations I think they set for me.
    You say it would be solved by paying more attention to others than yourself? Well, I just don't find that true in all cases.

  23. What a beautiful speech I was able to see inside myself in meditation 🧘‍♀️ and was able to just smile for no reason it was great 🌈💕🇦🇺🦋x

  24. the issue is that, when i close my eyes and meditate for five or ten minutes or whatever is the time, once i open my eyes after the session, i just recall that i have no money to feed my family, this is useless, believe me guys, solve your problems and you will be okay without magic or any kind of this superstition, sorry and thank you.

  25. Simetimes i think these people don't know how anxiety really feels, when you have a breathing trauma, can't enhale deep and it feels like air doesn't get in, they think that with this enhale and exhale they're doing something.

  26. Don’t put so much importance in your feelings or on figuring or ruminating on why you feel that why. We can hardly ever trust feelings. Embrace the feeling but also embrace the feeling of letting go. For me letting go and let god . Bless y’all

  27. Thanks. Changing your attitude however only goes so far, and only wealthy people like you have this luxury. The root cause for stress and anxiety is money, the bare need to work to gain money for survival. It's impossible to simply let go of this. If you do not have a certain amount of security (money) in life, then you are guaranteed slavery, stress, anxiety and unhappiness. Look at the world. Even monks only can live in their peaceful state because each day they go begging and people donate food

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