I just need to tell you guys about how I feel because I feel like I keep things in all the time And it’s just so frustrating Why am I freaking crying? I’m so upset because I felt like I couldn’t do anything It’s like my freakin’ SIBO took over. My gut health took over my life like I’m just so tired I’m just so sick and mentally exhausted I just like I’m fucking depressed all the time like It fucking sucks. I don’t know why I’m crying again. I need to get my shit together again. Be right back It’s so fucking stupid. So I decided to not publish that video because I was bawling for the entire video. I was feeling really emotional because I was feeling so sick. I’m feeling a little bit better now, so don’t worry. The reason why I decided to put a little clip of that video in front of this video is because I just wanna let you guys know that I’m not always happy Like this year has been a very difficult year for me because my health is that is worse I thought last year was bad. But this year Really? Like, I have my happy days like a lot of people think that I’m always this happy, this bubbly, and just super positive all the time. The truth is, I was not for almost the entire year,. But obviously, when I’m recording my videos I’m always trying to be at my happiest state and if I’m not happy I try my best to not record videos Which is why I haven’t posted a video for such a long time. He has been like two and a half weeks or something I don’t know. It’s… it’s been a long time because I just needed a little break because of my health. My gut health and my mental health was really struggling And when I recorded that video I just finished that part of my gut protocol And I was feeling more sick than ever. Like I was like what the hell is going on? I’ve been doing this for a while now that had been going on so many gut protocols I was feeling so ill I was weak, mentally exhausted because taking all this and Time microbiomes or whatever they are. All these herbs They’re actually really harsh on my body, harsh on my guts Although it’s trying to heal my gut it’s really trying to like attack it even more. So I’m like I was just so tired I was literally at my breaking point I mean I was, which is why I bawled And the problem with me is that I try to keep my feelings inside like I don’t really Like to talk about it to my family Or to my friends and it gets all balled up inside, and I’ll make a video, and I’ll start… bawling. That’s that’s pretty much me. I’ll keep everything in until it explodes So some of you guys might be thinking like what the hell are you talking about, Chloe? What the hell? I get it because the last time I talked about it was earlier this year And I have really bad gut health problems since I was a kid like since I was very very young I used to have stomachache after breakfast or after lunch or after dinner almost every day. I thought it was normal I seriously thought that it was normal to have stomachache every day. About two years ago That’s when I found that it was not really normal. Like, am I supposed to not feel bloated after I eat? I thought I was supposed to have stomachache You know like some discomfort in my stomach like there’s no doubt. There’s some sort of discomfort So I found out that was not normal and I got obsessed with it Which is why I started to I reach out to a lot of doctors, and read a lot of books, and podcasts, and all of that. Like to just try to make it better and I feel like it’s getting worse The reason why my gut issues is better Sometimes it’s just because I know what food triggers my bloating and my stomachache But I’m still working towards there. I’m seeing a new doctor We’re doing some stool tests to just check out what the hell is going on with my gut because something is going on and We need to do more tests. So I’m gonna get the test result in three or four weeks it takes about five fixes in total because I need to send that to the US and Get my poop tested all the way from Australia to the US like seriously Why can’t we have something good over here? So you can watch my previous videos if you want to know more about my gut health journey but yeah, I can’t really give you guys like a a Full update just because it is not fixed yet I’m still bloated. I’m not pregnant! A lot of people think that I’m pregnant when they look at my photos because I Literally look like I’m about four to five months pregnant! But there are days that they are not that bad like some some days they are just like one month pregnant, you know I mean like not four months, so no big deal But I’m still bloated and when I did my last protocol I gained so much weight Like I think it’s because my body was so stressed out. I was gaining so much weight on my belly I used to not gather much fat on my belly, but I think the protocol was really messing with my gut bacteria So it is super Super out of whack right now and at the same time it was so stressful for me. Because you know taking all this herbal Medicines they’re actually super harsh on a body. They’re actually quite strong. So I felt so sick. I was so weak. I was like “what?” My arms and legs are wobbly I was so so weak and I was definitely eating sufficient because I was gaining weight So I was like what the hell was going on? My body was obviously super stressed out, mentally exhausted, body exhausted it was just… it was just bad. And one of the other reasons why I’m so mentally, like, screwed, was because every time I go on any of these gut protocols, I lose my period because it is that Intense for my body. Like, my body just literally hates all these gut protocols so that really messes me up because I feel like every time when I miss a period I’ll miss it for a couple of months and I’ll get it back and then I’ll be on The next gut protocol and then I’ll lose it again I’ll get it back again and it’s just like… it’s just… it’s just really hard for me, because I feel like I’m not a woman or something. Like I’m Supposed to have periods every month. I was not having any So that really messes me up at the same time So it has been one and a half months since I finished it, and when I was on my SIBO protocol I gotta eat like clean, pretty clean, for the entire protocol. Which was about a month. And then two weeks after I was still trying to eat pretty good But I was like Getting more sick than ever. I was eating all these vegetables That are supposed to be good for me, but I was feeling more bloated than ever and I just gave up I just literally gave up. And you know what happens when someone tells you not to do something? Or not to eat a certain thing? You want more right? Like, that was me. Or, is it just me? Am I just the rebellious one over here? But that was me like after six weeks of torture. I was like I I’m gonna cheat and I went all-in. Like, I started eating Macca’s, Chinese food, Italian Like I don’t know like everything I ate Everything that I was craving for because I couldn’t eat them for such a long time And before I started all these protocols in the past I used to not restrict my food that much if I want sugar I have it I’ll just make sure I don’t have too much. I’ll have it in moderation. But because I needed to be healthy I was supposed to cut out all these foods, and that made me very miserable Mentally exhausting as well because I love to eat. I’m a foodie I love to eat. And when I’m not getting my food, I get really cranky! But after eating three weeks of junk food and all my forbidden foods I’ve gained weight obviously because I was eating so much But I did not regret it because I was feeling really happy that I could eat all these things without any guilt But I was also having some stomach issues. I obviously all these foods are not great for my stomach It felt really bad sometimes, but it felt the same as when I was on a gut protocol. As bad as when I was on a gut protocol And the funny thing is, you know you guys, my favorite food is Italian or Japanese And the funny thing is that when I eat Italian food I feel very little bloating even when I’m eating pizza or pasta or mozzarella cheese I don’t really get bloating issues from these food So I was like, oh my god, maybe I should just eat pizza every day So eating a lot of freaking pizza. Holy shit. I was so happy. Oh my god I’m going off topic here again. What was I gonna talk about? You know what? I just wanna make an update video I just wanted to let you guys know that I’m I’m still here Yeah, I’ve just not been feeling well, and I just wanna take some time off and not think about videos and I’m trying to get off social media because it’s not very good for my mental health right now, I think That’s it for today’s video. I’m definitely gonna make an update video soon in a new year Because I’m seeing a new doctor and she’s trying to fix the issues right here Like she told me a couple of things that was very different from my previous previous doctor So I’ll definitely update you guys about this because I know a lot of us have these chronic bloating issues That just won’t go away. And I know how annoying it is because I’ve lived with it for my entire life I just never cared, but because this is my job now it made me care. And it’s really difficult for me because Because I’m really afraid that my bloating issue is gonna come across like I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not fit or whatnot It’s just I guess it’s just my line of work that made it a little bit worse But that’s it for today’s video. I hope you guys are enjoying Today’s video. I hope it was enjoyable. I don’t know I’m feeling pretty happy today. So I think it should be okay. It should be okay, right? I hope you guys have a great day and I’ll see you in the next video *muackz* Bye!