The Most Organic Vlog: Diet Tips


♪♪>>HELLO, WORLD!>>HI.>>MY NAME IS SAWYER, AND I AM A CAGE-FREE GOOSE TRAINER.>>AND I’M MADYSEN, AND I’M A FREELANCE GARDEN DREAMER.>>AND WE ARE SO EXCITED TO HAVE A LIFESTYLE VLOG! FINALLY!>>FINALLY.>>WE’RE GOING TO COVER SO MUCH STUFF. WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT CLOTHES, MAKEUP, D.U.I. TUTORIALS, EXERCISING TIPS, ALL OF THE ABOVE.>>WE ARE TOTES E.T.S.Y.G.>>WHAT’S- WHAT’S E.T.S.Y.G.?>>EXCITED TO SHOW YOU GUYS.>>RIGHT.>>SO, LIKE, WE’RE STARTING TO VLOG BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY ASKS US HOW WE GOT OUR LIFESTYLE, AND I JUST WANTED TO, LIKE, BE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE AND FEEL THE WORLD.>>WE’RE SUPES INTO, LIKE, LIVING SUPES HEALTHY, WHOLE-ORG-VEG-PALEO LIFESTYLE.>>WE’VE GOT FOUR DIET THINGS THAT WE ARE OBSESSED WITH. NUMBER FOUR IS A NEW KALE BODY SCRUB THAT WE HEARD ABOUT FROM OUR PSYCHIC.>>BEST PART OF THE KALE BODY SCRUB: IT’S LIKE EATING A SALAD, BUT INSTEAD, SCRUBBED INTO YOUR SKIN.>>THE WAY IT WORKS IS THAT YOU SCRUB, THEN YOU SCRUB, SCRUB, UNTIL YOUR SKIN IS GONE, AND THEN YOU KEEP SCRUBBING, AND IT SCRUBS AWAY YOUR FAT!>>SO YOU JUST HAVE, LIKE, THIS RAW, FLESHY, ICKY STUFF. AND SO THEN I WAS WRAPPED IN A BODY BANDAGE FOR TWO WEEKS… >>YEAH.>>AND THAT WAS, LIKE, UGH, FINE, BUT, LIKE, I LOST FIVE POUNDS, SO THAT WAS COOL.>>YOU LOOKED LIKE A NAKED MOLE RAT MUMMY.>>WORTH IT. NUMBER FOUR. THIS AMAZING NEW RAW RESTAURANT. IT’S, LIKE, SO FARM-TO-TABLE. YOU’RE, LIKE, LITERALLY SITTING IN A FIELD. AND THERE’S ALL THESE ANIMALS THAT ARE, LIKE, MEAN. AND SO YOU GET THE LIST OF ALL THE MEAN THINGS THE ANIMAL HAS EVER DONE. “THIS CHICKEN IS A JERK; I’LL HAVE THAT ONE.” AND SO YOU FEEL LIKE, LIKE THE ANIMAL DIES AND YOU’RE, LIKE, PART OF THE NATURE’S JUSTICE SYSTEM. LIKE, I FELT SO PATRIOTIC.>>BUT THE OTHER THING IS THAT MEAN ANIMALS, THEY SECRETE THESE OXYGENATED SECTICU- SACTI- SACTICONS- >>SHAKTA- >>THEY SECRETE- THEY SECRETE THESE SACTICONS.>>SACTICON.>>THAT ARE, LIKE, GREAT FOR YOUR SKIN. THEY, LIKE, MAKE YOUR PORES SMALLER AND SO RADIANT. SO, LIKE, I READ THAT SOMEWHERE.>>SCIENCE IS SO AMAZE! OKAY, SO AT THIS SAME RESTAURANT, YOU CAN GET A SUPER DELISH, NUTRISH, SUBSTANSH CHICKEN SOUP THAT’S SUPES SOUPY.>>NUMBER FOUR, AND MY PERSONAL FAVE, IS OUR NEW DIET THAT WE’RE DOING, AND IT’S AMAZE. LIKE, IT’S LITERALLY A GIANT MAZE. AND WE ORIGINALLY STARTED IT BECAUSE A GOBLIN GANG TOOK MY BABY BROTHER.>>IT’S CALLED THE MORE NATURAL THAN NATURAL DIET. SO IT’S NO GRAINS, NO DAIRY, NO SUGAR, NO BEANS, NO FRUITS, NO VEGGIES, NO LIQUIDS. INCLUDING WATER.>>YEAH. SO, BASICALLY, YOU JUST, LIKE, ABSORB THE POLLEN THAT’S IN THE AIR.>>YEAH.>>BUT NO SUN BECAUSE YOU MIGHT PHOTOSYNTHESIZE, AND THAT WOULD MAYBE MAKE YOU FAT.>>’CAUSE YOU BECOME PART PLANT AFTER THE POLLEN.>>MHM. FOOD FOR THOUGHT.>>NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME THINK OF IT.>>BUT NO FOOD. AND ALSO, A GOOD- A GOOD TIP JUST TO KNOW BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE LIKE, “WHEN DO I STOP DIETING?” YOU KNOW YOU CAN STOP THE DIET WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND YOU HAVE THE BODY OF A 9-YEAR OLD BOY. YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY? THIS DIET IS SO GOOD. IT’S TO DIE.>>IT’S TO DIE.>>WE NEED TO GO NOW BECAUSE WE NEED TO WRAP OUR FACES IN SEAWEED SO WE LOSE ALL OUR CHEEKBONE FAT.>>YEAH, GROSS. PEACE AND LOVE.>>PEACE AND LOVE. GUYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING OUR VLOG.>>[SIGHS] >>AND PLEASE, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE.>>THERE’S SO MANY MORE COMING, SO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT WHICH D.U.I. PROJECT YOU WANT US TO DO.>>YEAH. WE DO SO MANY D.U.I.S; IT’S AMAZING.>>WE’RE SUPES CRAFTY.>>OKAY.>>PEACE AND LOVE.>>BYE.

100 thoughts on “The Most Organic Vlog: Diet Tips

  1. Oh don't think im want to do this ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

  2. This reminds me of a diet my friend told me about where you apparently cut out all sugar (even natural sugar) and you lose a ton of weight quickly.

    Then I realized that can happen in diabetes. It's basically emulating the symptoms of diabetes.

  3. I want to see a satire of someone who does nothing with their life but judge other people and make fun of them, especially people who are really good-looking or really successful or who work really hard or someone who takes good care of their bodies. Make fun of the people who make fun of others!

  4. Do you now that everything you eat it's Gmo chickens bread to be as fat as it can be. Bananas bred to be as litel seeds and as much frut. Water melons 60ร— as big as in natur ans 3ร— as much sauger . Everything you eat is Gmo and nothing is organic and everything is mage aut of chemicals

  5. Also um…scientifically speaking, they wouldnโ€™t be able to photosynthesize without water, so….

    Food for thought

  6. Oooooooooo๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸผI LOVE LAYBRINTH
    BEST MOVIE EVER

  7. Sadly this is just too accurate…. reminds me of the Waldorf mums who do Bikram yoga before heading over to be seen at the vegan farmers market and then en route to school pick up, slide into a McDonaldโ€™s drive through for a quarter pounder snack… cause if no one sees you eating it, you โ€œliterally โ€œ havenโ€™t… ๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. No grains, no dairy, no sugar, bla bla bla… They didn't say anything about bacon! No wonder the bacon cleanse sketch exists…

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