Wellbeing Services – Relationships at University

Living with people can be quite a daunting experience.
It can also be really exciting. Great, new house mates. You should get to
know them and set out some flat rules – nothing serious, just things like which items are
shared and which aren’t, which are communal areas and which are your personal spaces.
Could be good to get an idea of sharing housework and shopping. No mate, I don’t trust any of them. What you need is those little labels that you can
put on all your stuff and you need padlocks on all those cupboards. And as far as housework
goes, you know what I say – if it’s not your mess then don’t touch it. You’ve got to think about a number of different things; who’s going to buy the toilet roll
or who’s going to do the cleaning and there’s bound to be disputes about these things but
just try and tackle any problems that come up before they get too big so if somebody
hasn’t done the cleaning go and have a talk to them rather than moaning about them behind
their back. Another thing that you can do when you’re living with people to try and
you know bring yourself closer is to maybe just do something collectively as a group
so you might want to have like a house dinner once a week or go and play in the park
or something like that. Ooh shots. I know it’s not usually our thing
but you’ve got to if you want to fit in. Ignore him. Of course you don’t; if you don’t
want to, just say no. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it and no one
will think any less of you. Are you mad?! Everyone else’s doing it.
They’ll think we’re a weirdo. The success angel’s right, you don’t have
to do anything that you don’t want to do. At university you’re always going to have
peer pressure from different people but just remember you can always say no. Sometimes it’s
just about the way that you say no which can be quite helpful; you might want to give
more of a reason as to why you can’t, so “I don’t want to do that shot because tomorrow
I’ve got a lot to do and I don’t want to be hungover”. Sometimes life throws in occasions
where you have to have a difficult conversation. The best thing is just to be honest and sensitive
to their point of view and feelings. No, no way. Just avoid them, bury your head in the sand
and pretend it’s not happening. At University sometimes there will be some difficult
conversations that you need to have. For example, if you were doing group work
and someone wasn’t really pulling their weight and you had to try and broach that conversation with them
it can be quite difficult. You might want to think about exactly
what you’re gonna say to that person and how you’re going to say it,
you might want to actually write that down, maybe bullet point the key points
and sometimes actually even rehearsing what you’re gonna say can be quite helpful,
so that when you say it you’re just a little bit more comfortable with that. University is a really exciting time, it’s lots of chances to meet different people
and to really form some really good bonds with people and these relationships you might have for the rest of your life. But if you do have any problems then the Wellbeing Centre is here – you can always come and see us
or look on our website for more information.

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