Will Trump Be ‘239 Pounds’ At This Year’s Physical?


WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW,”
EVERYBODY.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. IT IS– IT IS FRIDAY. AND FOR MEMBERS OF TRUMP’S
CABINET, THAT MEANS THEY’VE MADE IT THROUGH A WHOLE OTHER WEEK
WITHOUT BEING FIRED OR INDICTED. AS YOU KNOW, THERE HAS BEEN A
LOT OF TURNOVER IN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE IN THE PAST YEAR. IN THIS PHOTO FROM LAST YEAR’S
STATE OF THE UNION, EIGHT HIGH-RANKING STAFFERS ARE NO
LONGER WORKING FOR TRUMP.( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP SEEMS TO THINK–( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH. A LOT OF TURNOVER.>>Jon: DROPPING LIKE FLIES.>>Stephen: TRUMP SEEMS TO
THINK BRINGING IN NEW PEOPLE IS GOING TO HELP BRING HIS
PRESIDENCY ON THE RIGHT TRACK. BUT UNLIKE A STAINED HOTEL
MATTRESS IN RUSSIA, THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM THAT CAN BE SOLVED BY
TURNOVER. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.>>Jon: THANK YOU, CITIZEN.>>Stephen: AND THE LATEST WHITE
HOUSE OFFICIAL ALLEGEDLY EYEING THE EXITS IS ACTING CHIEF OF
STAFF AND SIMON FROM “ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS,” MICK MULVANEY.( LAUGHTER )
ALVIN. EVEN THOUGH MULVANEY HAS ONLY
BEEN SERVING AS TRUMP’S CHIEF OF STAFF FOR A FEW WEEKS,
REPORTEDLY, HE’S ALREADY PLANNING HIS ESCAPE. THE ESCAPE PLAN IS TO CLIMB DOWN
FROM A THIRD-FLOOR WUNDTO OF THE WHITE HOUSE USING ONE OF TRUMP’S
TIES. NOW HERE’S THE– CORE STRENGTH. YOU NEED CORE STRENGTH FOR THAT.>>Jon: YOU GOTTA HAVE IT.>>Stephe: HOW WAS MICK TO KNOW
THE JOB WOULD BE SO MISERABLE? HIS PREDECESSOR, JOHN KELLY,
ALWAYS LOOKED SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE. HERE’S THE DEAL. HE’S PLANNINGS HAD ESCAPE. BUT TRUMP MIGHT BE PUSHING HIM
OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT BLAMES MULVANEY FOR
THE TERRIBLE PRESS INSPIRED BY THE 35-DAY GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN.(AS TRUMP): “WHY’D YOU LET ME
SAY I WOULD TAKE CREDIT FOR THE SHUTDOWN, MICK? IT’S YOUR JOB TO STOP ME. WHEN YOU SEE ME START TO TALK,
YOU DIVE IN AND FILL THE WORD-HOLE WITH THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL SLICE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE!”
( LAUGHTER )
NOW, WHAT’S NEXT– “WORD HOLE. WORD HOLE.”( APPLAUSE )
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MULVANEY? RUMOR HAS IT HE’S INTERESTED IN
BECOMING THE COMMERCE SECRETARY. WOW. THAT’S A BALLSY MOVE TO WANT A
JOB WORKING FOR THE SAME BOSS WHO IS ABOUT TO FIRE YOU. “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME. I QUIT! ALSO, HERE’S MY RESUME. I AM PROFICIENT IN MICROSOFT
XCEL.” BUT TRUMP WAS TOO BUSY TO FIRE
ANYONE TODAY, BECAUSE THIS AFTERNOON, HE GOT HIS ANNUAL
PHYSICAL EXAM AT WALTER REED HOSPITAL, HIS ANNUAL PHYSICAL,
WHICH WILL BE FOLLOWED BY HIS ANNUAL VEGETABLE.( LAUGHTER )
NOW, I HOPE YOU ALL REMEMBER LAST YEAR’S EXAM WHERE DOCTOR
RONNY JACKSON CLAIMED TRUMP WAS IN PERFECT HEALTH BECAUSE OF HIS
EXCELLENT GENES AND WEIGHED 239 POUNDS. THE PRESIDENT WAS SO IMPRESSED
WITH HIS ABILITY TO LIE ON QUEUE, HE DECIDED TO NOMINATE
DR. RONNY TO LEAD VETERANS AFFAIRS, DESPITE THE FACT THAT
HE HAD HAD NO EXPERIENCE MANAGING A LARGE BUREAUCRACY.(AS TRUMP): “LOOK, I CAN TEACH
HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT MANAGING VETERANS AFFAIRS:
$130,000, AND THE VETERAN SHUTS UP, ALL RIGHT. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I WILL TAKE IT. I WILL 100% TAKE IT.”>>Jon: YEAH.>>Stephe: AND IF BEING
MASSIVELY UNQUALIFIED FOR THE JOB WASN’T ENOUGH, DR. RONNY HAD
TO WITHDRAW HIS NOMINATION AFTER IT CAME OUT THAT WAS KNOWN FOR
DRINKING ON THE JOB AND OVER-PRESCRIBING DRUGS, SO MUCH
SO THAT FORMER COLLEAGUES SAID HE WAS NICKNAMED THE “CANDYMAN.”( LAUGHTER )
YES. AND LEGEND IS, IF YOU SAY THE
NAME “CANDYMAN” THREE TIMES IN A WHITE HOUSE MIRROR, HE
PRESCRIBES YOU A PRESCRIPTION FOR ADDERALL TO CRUSH UP AND
SNORT OFF THAT MIRROR.( APPLAUSE )
BUT NOW, JUST IN TIME FOR TRUMP’S PHYSICAL, DR. RONNY’S
BACK! BECAUSE TRUMP HAS CHOSEN HIM TO
BE HIS TOP MEDICAL ADVISER, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE IS
STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION. OH, THE “HE” IN THAT SENTENCE,
OF COURSE, REFERS TO EITHER ONE OF THEM.

100 thoughts on “Will Trump Be ‘239 Pounds’ At This Year’s Physical?

  1. Lol and keep updating us with truth and humor to survive this disaster in the making!!! If only we could “flip him over” to reveal a real president!!! (Ewww, that wasn’t where I was headed, until I realized he’d still be Ewww!!!) 🤨

  2. ok, did anyone else think that the 8 "high ranking officials" were all the same person? I honestly could not tell the difference between most of them

  3. Stephan Colbert is a propaganda tool for the elite and the identity politics being shoved down the throat of the naive and ignorant masses. His humor is childish and very boring. His mediocrity is somehow applauded by the easily swayed people that are unable to see the hypocrisy and obvious bias. Very sad. END THE FED.

  4. Donald Trump is trying to lose weight. It's just that, much like Bob Mueller and criminals in the Trump administration, one is really good at finding the other.

  5. Come on !! All this fast food he’s eating has to cause him some hypertension & or hypercholesterolemea. Also Diabetes at least because of his age. In addition to all the meet that might lead to gout !

  6. It’s ridiculous that he finds the need to lie about something like this to protect his fragile ego when it seems pretty obvious the numbers are at least a little fudged. His weight might actually be correct, but there’s no way he’s 6’3. He’s pretty much the exact same height as Obama and noticeably shorter than 6’2 Mark Sanchez.

  7. BREAKING NEWS !!!
    The Republican Party has welcomed the news that they no longer have to worry about what their Congressmen, Senators and SUPPORTERS will use for brains if KFC needs the cabbages for coleslaw.
    A new product on the hair care market, Control GX "the shampoo with brains" will provide a satisfactory alternative.
    Consideration is being given to replacing Donald Trump with either a "complimentary hotel bottle" of the shampoo, or his nearest contender, an adolescent tiger slug by the name of Slimey Norman.

  8. Finally you got a suit jacket with proper sleeve lengths, Colbert. Lol you looked like you were always going to a wedding and tailored a suit to tuxedo measurements.

  9. I was expecting they will just add another inch or two to Trump's imaginary height to get his weight until the "not obese" range. He is the only person I've ever heard of who grew two inches in his late fifties

  10. Like or hate Trump, it would be highly beneficial to voters if ALL members of our Congress had to take an annual physical AND mental health exam, and also be drug tested randomly – with all results made public.

  11. I think people forget that fat is far less dense than muscle, and he definitely only has the minimum muscle required to move his body. Most of his body is lightweight flab. I highly doubt he’s over 300 lbs. and honestly, his weight has to be his most inconsequential lie. With everything going on, who truly gives a shit?

  12. He is a tall man but to much junk food is never good with limited exercise.
    Hope he stays healthy for the sake of the country.

  13. Ja, du kan hålla käften nu, snälla nån det har varit 4 år av att du ska skita på Trump varje dag och du tror fortfarande att du är rolig, det är fanimej helt makalöst, snälla ät din egen röv nu, wuld yu lajk wåder?

  14. Despite what it may look like, Mueller is not working fast enough or being hard enough on anyone involved in Trump's criminality. They are ultimately going to get away with a slap on the wrist.

  15. Love how much trumpgret I've seen on the web over the tax bill btw. That's a real knee slapper. All fine and dandy until they realized it was a tax increase on them. heh…

  16. G.morning folks..
    Yes,sometimes,I need to have😂🤔I like Stephen Colbert, he's funny, I enjoy his show..
    Some supporters are stupid undermining my own business..
    If my political views is different than yours, hey, I don't mind yours.this is your word's not mind..this is the beauty of this nation that we live on, 1st ammendment the constitution rights,the freedom of speech, also stop stacking me..
    May almighty God helps us all and other nations..

  17. A better fun game would be……Lets guess Trumps weight for his inauguration in January 2020
    Now that is a fun undertaking……
    We will reelect Trump……..where will you be?

  18. The only time Tubby-rump doesn't inflate his numbers. Also the only president to grow in height in his old age. haha Does the WH have some kind of technology that makes this president skinnier on his TV? We are not all blind.

  19. Everybody here is making fun of Trump for being heavy but if you were to say the same things that you're saying about him to a woman you would be criticized to no end.

  20. Trump has frequently commented on other peoples' weight. Unwanted, disgusting comments. Like the then teenage beauty queen, Alicia Machado (when she was only 16 ), who he caused to develop an eating disorder/mental problems (in the 1990s). He kept calling her fat. Or Rosie O'Donnell who he's called a "fat pig", and "dog"!!! Even his wife, Melania, finds him repulsive because of the type of person he is

  21. In Canada, they don't allow applicants to be officer for the military if under judicial obligations such as a criminal charge, or conviction, although it may be possible if under investigation. It depends on the stress level created from the investigation and investigators. Also, it's possible the government cannot bond the applicant who wants to be an officer due to other political complication. He'd have to work somewhere else to be able to defend himself against this kind of political attacks, or denial of association, or diversion intended to do so, or communication which should not be given to others, or , if they try to hide something or refuse rights based on discrimination or other goals, whether military or not.

  22. Stealthy reference to Trump’s aderal addiction. The guy doesn’t drink, but yet he’ll crush up aderal and snort it to get high. He’s a moron.

  23. I'm calling 238 (reported) pounds. He lost weight over the holidays, but gained a few pounds over that NFL trash dinner.

  24. 239 ? Trump is WAY OVER 300 lbs…….way way over !!!!!!! he's a heart attack waiting to happen… and i hope its soon !!!!

  25. people this dude has about 20 active investigations going on for good reason how is it that this dipshit allowed to stay in power an make critical decisions that not only effect us but future generations this guy doesn't care about anything but himself an turd family. WAKE UP FOLKS!! this guy is on a sinking ship an his supporters are the passengers.

  26. Well, if you count out all the lipo on his turkey/pig neck. Then cut outs from his face, sculpture. The man looks different every day. Maybe it is going to be all together the same as last year. So the "crackhead" doctor is back? Yeah, who is going to prescribe B12 shoots? and the other "goodies", to make them move.

  27. That reminds me. In the instant-classic 1993 movie Dave comes this little exchange:

    Bob Alexander, White House chief of staff: “What about containment, Alan?”

    Alan Reed, White House media adviser: “I got the nurses for fifty grand apiece and the doctors for a hundred.”

  28. Body shaming is hate speech! You PresTrump hater's are bloviating children.
    Oh,he look's bigger because he has to wear body armor so a fascist pig does'nt SHOOT him.

  29. Trump is 6'3. He's definitely over 239lbs, but keep in mind he is all fat and zero muscle and fat weighs less than muscle. He's under 300lbs for sure, probably 285ish

  30. I’m near Trump’s height and when I looked like him weight wise if I’m estimating it (have since lost a bunch of weight) I was 274 pounds lol I would guess Trump is something like that. At the least 265

  31. What does it say about your actual weight when the weight you lie about is still only two pounds shy of clinically obese?

  32. 45 239 pounds? Mega bullshit. Super mega bullshit. He is the size of a small island. He actually makes Sarah Hugaslug Sanders look puny. Hugaslug makes Godzilla look tiny. Butt ugly one percent cockroaches.

  33. Trump will be among many people in the world who are obese. U Tube have a lot of fantastic cooks with delicious recipes teaching us how to make delicious tasting food that we just cannot resist. Eating. ( OK just for Today let's Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we can diet. ).

  34. I think Stephen Colbert is the most witty host out of all the late show hosts. I don't care for his liberal Democrat Party viewpoints, but he always has smart jokes.

    Trump pretends he's 6'3" because his narcissism drives him to fantasize he is better, bigger, richer, smarter, better looking, stronger, faster, holier, more moral, more popular, yadda yadda yadda. He is actually 6'1", but if he could get away with it, then he would claim the best height of 10 feet tall. In addition, being mythically taller makes him appear less fat on the medical charts.

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